Seeking the correct diagnosis

I know that my behaviour’s been bad and that my parents are frustrated and unhappy with me. I’ve been caught skipping school, smoking and taking drugs. I don’t defy my parents on purpose, I just can’t help myself. We just seem to yell and argue all the time. But since we’ve been meeting with our caseworker, things have improved. Before when I got angry, my dad would just scream at me, making me madder. Now they give me a little more space and we try and talk things out. I know I have a long way to go, but at least now I see that there are people who support me and who will listen to me and help me. — Jeffrey

Joanne and Jeffrey

Our journey with our adopted son, Jeffrey, has not been an easy one. Since his defiant behaviour began to escalate at around age six, a lot has happened. We were desperate and sought the help of Kinark. We became involved with several of the agency’s programs — though Jeffrey was expelled due to his behaviour. The programs were part of the process of elimination, helping to figure out what was at the root of Jeffrey’s difficulties. Finally, the agency arrived at a diagnosis of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorder (FASD). Coming to Kinark was all part of the process. With or without a diagnosis, we needed intervention, and Kinark was there to do that. Kinark helped me and my husband learn ways to deal with Jeffrey when he’s violent and argumentative, and how to help him to calm down and to act rationally. The best thing about these programs has been learning how to deal with certain situations as they arise. And, the Kinark caseworker also provided valuable and caring support: non-judgmental people in the health-care sector are very hard to come by. While I know my family still faces a long road ahead — I have had two heart attacks and Jeffrey is currently in a group home — I do want my son back home, where he’ll be better supported. I believe that the system has failed him and worry that the lack of opportunities available to Jeffry will lead him back to drugs. Starting high school this year will be one of the largest obstacles we’ll face as a family. In spite of the challenges — or perhaps because of them — I am working to improve the system and to provide support to other families who also have children with mental health issues. I’m currently on the Parent Advisory Committee for Kinark Child and Family Services, and am trying to target the education system first. I have also partnered with another mother in our region to try to help other families with children with mental health issues through the establishment of a new chapter of Parents for Children’s Mental Health (PMCH).

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