This week, on November 20th, we recognize Child Day.  A day where Canadians honour children and the United Nations Declaration on the Right of the Child.  Being a parent of a child with mental illness, I am forced often to wonder whether or not the rights of my child are actually being upheld as is spelled out in this Convention.  I also often wonder if it is enough to just merely document these ideas and belief systems, if this is enough, and wonder if there is true fidelity to these beliefs and action to see that the convention is being upheld.  At the same time, I do celebrate my children, both of them, and I would like to dedicate this to them and encourage anyone who reads this blog to respond with a celebration of the child(ren) or youth in your life that deserve it.

I have two daughters, Emily, now aged 13, and Amy, who will be turning 10 this week.  Both of them bring me joy and such pride.  It amazes me at times how two children from exactly the same genetic pool can be so opposite, and yet at the same time, so obviously sisters.  I personally have not ever experienced that genetic connection to a sibling, and watching them interact and grow together in both their relationship and as individuals to this day has me in awe a lot of the time.  The phrase "blood is thicker than water", I have witnessed to be so true on so many occasions.  My youngest daughter is the most like me, very strong-willed, expressive, talkative, and not afraid to share her opinion on any topic.  She is a consummate negotiator so much so that I am convinced she has a future as a Hostage Negotiator.  Never have I known a child who can present a case like she can.  Due to her very perseverance and creative ways of presenting her "case", I have found myself agreeing to things because sometimes "no, because I said so" just does not fit with the effort and thought behind her reasoning.  Some may call this spoiling her, and some may be right, but I celebrate that spark in her, that desire to recognize that not everyone will always agree with her thought process or desire, or even reasoning, and still her determination to at least try to show the other party her side of things.  Unfortunately for her older sister, who does not have nearly the negotiation skills that her younger sister possesses, this sometimes leads to situations where I can literally see the set-up, and take down of her sister, and Amy getting exactly what she wants, with Emily thinking that somehow she had a part in this negotiation.  I have often worried about this, and have thought to myself "how can she take advantage of her like that - she is her sister!"  I have also learned that there are definite times that I have to stand back, and let the sibling dynamic evolve and follow its own course, because the bond and the course it is on is stronger than I, and this does not cause me to worry.  My eldest Emily suffers from Bipolar Disorder and a whole gamut of difficulties that come along with this illness.  Because of this she is bullied tirelessly and still struggles to find a place in her world sometimes.  I think today of one occasion when the girls were outside in my front yard, they did not know I was in the garage and could see and hear all that was going on between them.  There was the usual bickering and jockeying for control over the activity of the moment, and then three neighborhood children rode up on their bikes. I guess they would be considered the "popular kids".  The stopped in front of my driveway and I stood on the ready to intervene in whatever nastiness they had planned for Emily.  They called out to Amy and asked her to come and play with them, but they made it clear that Emily would not be welcomed and continued on with a list of "reasons" why noone wanted to play with her.  I stood there holding my breath for a moment, wondering what Amy would do, and trying to sort out how I was going to be a "parent" in this situation; then came the response.....Amy slowly got up and walked closer to the girls at the end of the driveway, and clearly stated to them that she had absolutely no interest in playing with them if that was how they were going to talk about her sister and that it was obvious to her that they were only asking her to play in an effort to make Emily feel uncomfortable and abandoned, and then she said "I will not abandon my sister, and I certainly would not abandon her for you!"  She then turned back around and went back to where Emily sat and resumed the game at hand.  Emily and the girls were all dumbfound.  I stood in the garage with more than one tear coming down my cheek.  After the girls disappeared Emily asked Amy why she did that, Amy responded to her and basically explained that she is allowed to fight with her, but no one else had better try to hurt her because that was just not right and that she just didn't think that Emily deserved to be treated like that and her words "they just keep crossing the line Em, it isn't right".  Emily said thank you to Amy and then she told her she loved her and tried to give her a hug - it was then that Amy responded - "ok lets not get carried away - you know I am not the hugging kind".  I did not say anything in that moment, as I just sat and watched that natural bond appear between them more vividly than I had ever seen it before.  I have had the pleasure of watching that bond and witnessing moments like that on a number of occasions each defending the other, I have also had moments where the screaming and yelling at each other makes me wonder if we will ever make it to adulthood everyone intact, but when those moments come I think of the times where that bond appears, and I know its strength.  It amuses me that each of them talk about the other and state that they of course have no use for one another, and both wish they were an only child, and then I watch them and listen at bedtime as they chat through their walls, or even "sneak" into one another's bedrooms, and I realize they are each other's best friends - but that is a truth that at this age cannot be spoken out loud.  Both my girls bring so much to me personally and to this world, and both deserve to be celebrated for their uniqueness, their strengths, and their weaknesses, but today I celebrate most of all that they have each other, and that even when there is not a global fidelity to some of the issues at hand, there is a fidelity in their relationship that will never change, and for that, each will never be alone.