Hope: 1: to desire with expectation of obtainment; 2: to expect with confidence (Merriam Webster Dictionary)
 
I think most of us could safely say that hope is woven through all that we feel and do when we become parents. We hope for our baby to be whole and well. We hope that they will remain safe. We hope they will grow up to be successful. We hope that we will do right by them.
 
But hope is subject to the most awful blows from circumstance. We find ourselves disappointed by our own shortcomings. We realize that our little ones can stumble, fall and sometimes have difficulty recovering. Yet in most cases hope surfaces again and we continue on, learning from our mistakes, growing from the setbacks, learning and teaching our children to learn from the ups and downs of life.
 
The trouble is that this isn’t always easy to do. And it is particularly difficult if our children are seen to be different or are a little outside what is considered “normal.” How do parents continue to hope that their child will be well, be safe, be successful?
 
I think the increased focus on mental health as well as prevention and treatment for mental illness is one way we can feel hopeful that our children may be supported and thrive. But I remain concerned.
 
It’s natural for governments and organizations to focus on concrete outcomes such as graduation rates and completion of programs as evidence of success. But I think it’s time we really focused on what gives parents real hope – the relationships of our children.
 
Let’s face it, no child or youth can succeed or develop a meaningful understanding of their place in this world without a capacity to develop and maintain healthy relationships.
 
They need to have a healthy relationship with self – to know who they are, what they do well, how they can regulate themselves and grow in understanding and experience. That’s mental health.
 
They need to have a healthy relationship with their parents – to feel loved, to feel safe, to be able to figure out the challenges of growing up with help. That’s mental health for their families.
 
They need to have a healthy relationship with their teachers – to be able to communicate, make themselves understood, have constructive conversations and learn together. They need to have a healthy relationship with their school work – why are they studying it, what meaning does it bring to their lives, what skills do they need to be “lifelong learners?” That’s mental health for teachers and school environments.
 
They need to have a healthy relationship with their community – to feel included, important, relevant and not judged. That’s mental health for communities.
 
I think feeling hopeful about our children’s future can exist only if all systems are focused on this outcome – to teach and nurture the capacity to have meaningful relationships with the world around them and for the world to have them back. The increased focus on mental health may bring this. It certainly emphasizes the importance of caring for the mind and the relationship (there’s that word again) between our mental wellbeing and success.
 
So all this is to say that I hope that our growing focus on mental health will give our children, youth and families what they need to thrive – strong relationships that support them and help them make meaning of their lives.